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But yo, it’s funny—some dudes be actin’ all shy, like, “Nah, that’s too freaky.” Man, grow some balls! It’s just a massage with extra sauce, ain’t nobody judgin’. “You’re my little sparkler,” like Mia’s mom says, ‘cept it’s the masseuse lightin’ you up, ha! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This shit’s better than therapy,” ‘cept my wallet’s cryin’ sometimes.

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Some days, I feel like the whole neighborhood is one giant living organism with a brain splattered in unexpected brilliance. You see, as a dating app developer, I catch the unspoken romance in every corner. A sweet smooch exchanged outside the rundown movie theater on Crescent – where films age like fine wine, but my heart races like a high-speed chase scene—and honestly, it gives me chills every darn time.

‘We don’t want to live like animals’: Flemingdon Park tenant plans protest over rent hike