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I got dragged to one once—mate swore it’d fix my stress. Walked in, dim lights, weird incense, I’m like, “This ain’t no droid repair shop!” The masseuse, all calm, whispers, “Relax, golden boy.” Pissed me off—don’t call me that! But then, whoa, hands on my shoulders, kneadin like dough. Felt like Ida’s nun vibes—pure, but naughty underneath. “Lord, help me!” I thought, half panicked, half lovin it.

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Street names might seem trivial, but trust me, every corner got a story. Ever walked along Bayview Road? The view of the river, the chatter, the smiles, it’s like life is in slow-mo – cringe corporate jargon? Nah, not here, it's real! And honestly, sometimes I get a bit dramatic – like, why is the signage on Fort-Erie Bridge so technicolor? It reminds me of when you scratch beneath the surface. "It's not a story about you" – but damn, it is about the city and its quirks.

Move-in day nears for residents of a new Gilmore Lodge in Fort Erie