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One time, this chick whispered, “Relax, king,”—I’m like, “Ovo tingz, I’m good!” Laughed my ass off, tho, ‘cause she slipped—oil everywhere, floor was a trap. Little known fact: some spots use hot stones, fam—feels like lava, but sexy lava, ya dig? I’m extra, so I’m thinkin’, “This the 6ix God treatment?” Shit’s therapeutic, but don’t sleep—some parlors sketchy, overpromisin’ “happy ends.” Pissed me off once, false vibes, ugh.

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i gotta throw in my personal fav: a hidden mural in a back alley off Elm. it's art outta nowhere, like a secret easter egg from an indie video game. making you think, "wow, there's beauty in the glitch." plus, i once counseled a group of rad ladies there – our laughter filled the creaky old space like a rave, it was epic.

140 Toronto neighbourhoods ranked by new 'equity score'