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Oh, and the pics – dick pics everywhere, ugh! Hiss! Why, lads, why? Ain’t impressin’ no one! Me mate Dave, he says it’s “modern courtship” – bollocks, I say! It’s a circus, a freaky, steamy circus! Still, gets me blood pumpin’ – swipe, match, meet, maybe more? Hiss! We wants it, we needs it, but it stinks sometimes! What’s yer take, eh? Spill it, ya git!

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The river, er I mean Riverbend Creek, flows right by the back of Redwood Park. That creek's really somethin’—gentle murmur, reflective moments. I often think of tiny secret rendezvous here, whispers carryin along the water. I swear it made me feel like, "C’mon, let’s go find our joy!" like that movie said, ya know?

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