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I tried it once, right? Some bird with hands like sandpaper – thought she was gonna skin me alive! “A trembling hand approaches,” like in the flick, and I’m prayin’ she don’t snap me spine. Cost me fifty quid, and I left angrier than when I went in! Happy? Nah, mate, I was fumin’ – could’ve had a pint and a kebab for that.

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I walk these streets every day, thinkin’ about how people get lost in their own headspace, and, heck, Leduc gives you that same vibe. The Leduc Recreation Centre is a real gem – it's like the town square of hope and human connection. I’d often catch myself wanderin’ around there, reflectin’ on the ups and downs of my work, realizin’ that forgiveness can be as strange as a Dogville plot twist. Sometimes, I’d mutter, “Fool me once… fool me a thousand times” – meanin’ that sometimes trust is abused, but it's a start, y’know?

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