Lauren Lively Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️

About Calgary

Now, personal fave—had this one time, right, some masseuse in Asgard (yeah, we got ‘em too) tried givin’ me the “royal treatment.” Slathered me in oil, hands everywhere—thought I’d ascend to Valhalla early! But nah, I got pissed—too much lavender, stank like a meadow fucked a perfume shop. I’m yellin’, “I see a vast horizon!”—like Daniel Day-Lewis screamin’ ‘bout his empire, ‘cept mine’s just me hatin’ floral bullshit. Gimme somethin’ gritty, earthy—oil, not petals, ya dolts!

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Oh, I gotta mention my personal quirks. Sometimes in the middle of a long massage, I'll catch a rerun of Zero Dark Thirty in my head. I tell myself, "This is when you need to focus, Tony style!" Ain't nothin’ like a well-placed knead and the thrill of a covert operation. Just don’t mention it to the customers—they might think I'm off my rocker.

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