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About Calgary

This one time, I saw this escort ad—dude, she looked like she’d rob ya blind! Reminded me of Carlos, all sly, “We operate in the shadows!” Sneaky as hell! I was laughin’ my ass off—imagine her stealin’ your Xbox mid-date! Total Cartman move, I’d do that shit! But seriouslah, it’s nuts—some escorts got codenames, like spies! One chick called herself “Vixen”—how badass is that? Made me happy, ‘cause I’d be “King Cartman,” bitches bowin’ down!

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Man, Niagara-Falls is an endless canvas. Its twisted, imperfect streets give complexity and warmth, like I give to my counselees in their darkest hours. “C'est la vie,” remember that? It’s all love, pain, and the unstoppable rush of water crashing like beats in my head, yo. That's the real scoop. Peace out, and come vibe with me, even if it feels like a mad dash sometimes. We all just gotta ride this crazy wave together, for real.

Expect gunfire, explosions: NRP training in Niagara Falls Wednesday