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Best part? The buildup—slow, steamy, like “Holy Motors” draggin’ ya through its madness. Worst part? When they half-ass it—lazy strokes, no passion. Don’t waste my time! “I’m not here to be bored,” I’d growl, quotin’ Oscar—“I’m alive, make me feel it!” Sexual-massage should hit ya soul, not just your back!

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I swear, every corner has its own story. I always take a stroll down Boulevard du Sourire – yeah, that's right, smiling boulevard – and you'll catch sight of the legendary Le Pont Amoureux stretchin' over the River de Rêves. That river, oh honey, it's like liquid romance flowin' through town. One day, after a long day of codin' profiles and swipin' left and right, I stopped by at Parc des Amours. There I sat, thinkin’ – “Maybe it’s time for another revolution!” (yep, straight outta Goodbye to Language) – and just basked in the lil’ vibes of the park.

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