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Gets me goat tho—lads ghostin after a shag. Rude, innit? Had a lass do that to me—poof, gone! Felt like shoutin, “I have a competition in me!”—all angry-like from the movie. But eh, next swipe, next chance—keeps ya hopin, dunnit? Wotcha think, pal—sex-datin, mad or brill? Mumble mumble—off I go, probly trip over a condom wrapper!

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One more thing… There’s this street, Willow Ave – chill zone, for real. I often cruise down there after a long day, my hands still buzzin’ from giving deep tissue massages. Sometimes I think, "The labyrinth of our souls ain't so different than Pan's Labyrinth, right?" And, oh man, I almost whisper, "This is the rest of your journey."

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