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About Calgary

Ya wanna hear a whacked-out story bout whore? Old man Sal, crusty bastard, swears he caught whore back in ‘89. Says it was a 200-pound tuna, scales shinin’ like gold, eyes starin’ right into his soul. Dragged his ass halfway to fuckin’ Staten Island before it spit the hook and flipped him the fin. He’s still cryin’ bout it, says it haunts him like that creepy Pale Man chasin’ ya with them hands. Me? I laughed my ass off—Sal’s fulla shit, but it’s a good yarn, ya know?

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So, first off, the streets! Man, Broadway Ave is buzzing with energy. I get lost wanderin' around College Drive sometimes, and ohhh, Nutana is just somethin' else. The vibe there is so chill. It's like every crack in the pavement hums with stories. I always say, "I dont know what you mean," when someone complains ‘bout my favorite massage spots near the river, cuz the South Saskatchewan River is a straight up miracle!

Feheregyhazi Blvd. closed between McOrmond Dr. and Orban Way