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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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I live here as a pleasure coach and trust me, my job lets me zoom into all the secret nooks. Shawinigan has these hidden pockets of magic, bro! Ever strolled along Rue de l’Église? Not me but ya gotta check it out! Haha, my fave spot? The area near the Shawinigan Falls, where the water roars, and every drop shouts "I'm ready!" Just like that movie, Timbuktu – "In the midst of chaos, beauty reveals itself!" Man, that's deep!

SARNIA REMEMBERS: Son attends funeral of father decades after war ends (continued)