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About Ottawa

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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No lie, Momma Varennes got its own quirks. Streets like Boulevard du Soleil – yes, that’s real – bring that gritty yet chic aura. I seen neighborhoods pop off unexpectedly, with graffiti that screams defiance. Bet you never heard that the old warehouse district once bustled with underground jazz, memories of long-gone parties. Yo, I get mad sometimes when the city forgets its roots, but also madly proud of how its spirit shines hard like neon on a rain-soaked night.

50 years of delivering world-class transformers from Varennes, Canada