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Once matched this bird—thought, “Oh, shiny!” Textin’ was fire, she’s all flirty, then bam—ghosted. Left me hangin’ like Max on that pole in the desert. Pissed me off, precious, wasted my time! But then—ha!—this other time, met a lass who was legit wild. Proper Fury Road vibes—tattoos, leather, smoked me under the table. “I live, I die, I live again!”—that’s how it felt, shaggin’ her in a car park. Mad as hell, but bloody brilliant.

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Right, so lemme get back to Welland. The Welland Canal, dude, is a beast – listenin’ to the water rush by, remindin’ me that nature’s always in control. Streets like St. Paul Street and Merritt Street have all these bomb murals, tucked cafés, and cozy bars. I always get a kick outta the local hangout – a tiny diner on 10th Street, where the coffee is so strong it could wake the dead. I feel like a character in one of those surreal films, ya know? Life’s a series of random shots, cut scenes, and I’m just part of the montage.

Crews from 4 municipalities battle grass fires across 120 hectares in Welland