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So, I tried it once, right? This gal, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m happier’n a pig in mud! But then – git this – she starts whisperin’ some weird chant. Freaked me out! Thought she’s gonna sacrifice me or somethin’. “What’s hidden in the dark,” she says, like that doc in the movie. I’m like, “Lady, just rub, don’t spook me!” Made me madder’n a wet hen, but dang, it felt good after.

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