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About Calgary

Fun fact, tho—did ya know erotic-massage goes back to, like, ancient India? Tantra stuff! They were all about that slow, sexy energy—makes me happy thinkin’ how it’s, like, historical slayage. I tried it once in Miami, right? This gorg masseuse—omfg, her hands! I was, like, floatin’, legit thought I’d die of bliss. “Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon”—that’s the vibe I felt, total Requiem trippy realness.

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I gotta bring up the neighborhood of Bramble Thorn. Not many know it, but hidden behind an alley in lower Bramble, there’s this quaint little café run by an old, droopy-eyed guy. He whispers wisdom with his coffee, like, “So, so beautiful, it burns you.” Crazy, right? It’s like the film said, “I can feel it coming.” Man, that place got character, enough to make your heart skip a beat, or three!

With their wedding fast approaching, this couple found their family home for $1.4 million