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I tried it once, real talk. Some chick named Tanya, hands like a damn wizard. I’m layin there, butt-naked, tryna not laugh. She’s rubbin my back, talkin bout “release tension.” Tension? Bitch, I’m tense cuz you’re kneadin me like dough! Got me thinkin, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Little known fact—ancient Rome had this shit too. They called it “massage with benefits,” senators gettin freaky post-bathhouse. History’s nasty, yo.

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Sometimes, dude, I nearly get mad at how the city suddenly feels too real. You pass by a corner in a hurry, miss a sweet mural or a tiny park bench that tells a thousand stories. It's like, damn, reality is a relentless badass.

Linkin Park guitarist Brad Delson explains why he's decided to sit out the band’s comeback tour