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About Hamilton

So, lemme spill—sex-dating’s wild, man. You got Tinder, Grindr, whatever, profiles screamin’ “DTF” or “no hookups”—pick a lane, right? I’m over here cacklin’ like a ghoul, ‘cause some dude’s bio says “sapiosexual” but he spells it “sapeosexual”—bro, irony’s dead! Made me mad, like, c’mon, at least Google it! But then—bam—this chick messages me, “Wanna Netflix and bone?” and I’m like, hell yeah, I’m HAPPY, floatin’ on stripes! Total *Carol* moment—“I like the hat,” but it’s more “I like the hustle.”

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I gotta share: one day, I was giving a massage on Oak St., near the little antique shop, when I thought, “Wow, life is so unpredictably great and weird.” I mean, sometimes my hands get these crazy insights into people's emotions... like, seriously insane stuff.

Watchwords: How did Whisky Trench and Little Burgundy get their names?