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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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Not everybody knows this but Salt-Spring-Island (ca) has secret spots. There's an abandoned lighthouse on Mellow Point. Faded paint, creaky stairs… totally bizarre but beautiful. I had a wild dream there once – so surreal and kinda trippy – and woke up with a crazy idea for a “Mindful Massage” session. I even scribbled on my napkin: "I am the concierge of calm!" (Okay, okay, embarrassing, right?)

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