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Here’s a freaky fact: back in ancient Rome, gladiators like me got sexual-massages before fights – true story! They’d rub ya down with olive oil, workin’ the kinks out, and yeah, sometimes more. Kept us loose, limber, and a lil’ too frisky for the arena. Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Nowadays, it’s all bougie spas and neon signs whisperin’ “massage plus.” Gets me goin’ – the nerve of some places chargin’ $100 for a tease! Don’t pee on my leg and call it luxury, pal!

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Now, lemme rant a bit: I get so ticked off when people say Windsor is "just a suburb." No, seriously, it's got guts. You got the old Windsor Ice Arena, and then there's the beautiful Ojibway Park, where nature never fails to surprise ya. I once met a would-be love interest near the park – a perfect set-up that kinda reminded me of that scene in "Stories We Tell" when life’s little mysteries all collide. You know the line, “Do you want to believe in the amazing power of stories?” Well, trust me, even here, every street corner tells its own tale.

Windsor police officer pleads guilty to harassment, indecent communications