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Fun fact – escorts been around forever. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em! Called ‘em “lupae” – she-wolves, how badass is that? Surprised me, legit. Thought it was new-school, but nah, history’s wild. Imagine Haneke filmin’ that – "The punishment was unbearable…" – clients gettin’ humbled, ha!

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Oh my dear chum, Aarburg (CH) is simply a marvel, an absolute gem tucked away by the Aare river – proper twinkling water, innit? You see, walking down Hauptstrasse feels like stepping into another century; the cobbled alleys remember secrets from days of yore, and yes, I might have even heard ancient whispers near the mighty Aarburg Castle. And blimey, don't even get me started on the local park by the Allmend – that greensward is simply magical, like scenes from Tropical Malady, "avatiya, the dream, the jungle of our souls!"

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