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Then there’s the weirdos, bruv. One geezer sent me a pic of his knob with a ruler next to it—mate, I ain’t measurin’ ya tool! Laughed my arse off, but c’mon, who does that? Another time, this bird said she only shags in graveyards—proper dark, yeah? Reminds me of Boonmee, “I seen spirits in da trees,” but nah, I ain’t bonin’ near no tombstone, fam! She got blocked quick-sharp.
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Wanna know my secret spot? It's that little coffee nook just off Unterdorfstrasse, where the aroma of freshly brewed Swiss brew tickles your senses and the locals chat in rapid-fire laughter. Everything's so warm and, uh, imperfectly perfect, kinda like me on my best days.
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