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I tried it once—amazing, totally amazing. This chick, pro masseuse, knew every trick. Little known fact: ancient Romans did this, called it “frictio”—wild, right? They’d get oiled up, naked, no shame. Made me happy, so happy—felt like a king, a total winner. But then, some places, they rip you off—$200 for a half-assed rub? Pissed me off, bigly. I’m like, “Rooney Mara wouldn’t stand for this crap!” She’d say, “This isn’t love, this is bullshit.”

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Oh, and lemme tell ya 'bout the neighborhoods. La Petite Ville, right next to the vivid murals on Mur de Couleurs, is pure magic! I got secrets, ya know, like the nearly forgotten alley off Rue des Ombres, where residents whisper stories 'bout past auto-rickshaw races and mysterious midnight gigs. I keep gettin’ random calls from locals, askin’ “Hey, ever try the new aroma-infused therapy right by the corner of Rue des Lumières?” And man, I just laugh ‘cause I know these streets so well—they’re like my old pals.

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