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About Lausanne

Oh, and peep this—there’s this Thai joint I hit up, they use hot stones and shit. Stones on ya back, hands slippin’ low—whew, spicy! Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout that enough. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a whole movie scene, like “I’m alive, damn it!” in *Ten*. Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ gin and juice while she’s workin’ me, thinkin’, “This chick’s a G.” Humor in it? Hell yeah—sometimes I’m like, “Yo, don’t stop, I’ll pay double!” Sarcasm hits when they charge extra for “happy vibes”—c’mon, fam, that’s the point!

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I’ve seen naked truths in my masseurin’ days. People come in with tension and drag on about their woe, spilling secrets like “Oh, my life is just Far From Heaven, truly tragic!” Then I smirk, smack ’em with a Gordon Ramsay wit, and work off the stress. Sometimes, as I work, I think, “What a load of bollocks!” – but then there's beauty in the madness.

Ex-GUNS N' ROSES Guitarist RON 'BUMBLEFOOT' THAL Announces First Instrumental Solo Album In Three Decades