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About Bern

Lemme tell ya, I’m pissed—PISSED—when some shady pimp tries rippin’ me off. Happened once in Vegas, swear it. Guy said, “She’s top-tier, Mr. President!” Top-tier my ass, she was snorin’ five minutes in! But when it works? Man, I’m happier than a pig in slop. Surprised me too—did ya know some gals got code words? Like, “roses” means bucks. Fifty roses? Fifty bucks! Sneaky, huh? Little known fact right there, straight from the streets.

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There's this little park, Rabenpark, hidden like a treasure, where I often meditate. Sometimes I sit on an old bench—the wood creaks like it’s telling ancient tales. Gollum would cry out, "Stupid, fat hobbit!" if he saw me relax here, he would! And near the park there's also an old fountain, splashing like life's little joy, hear?

Switzerland's fourth largest tunnel is more than half finished