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About Biel-Bienne

I keep movin’, boots hittin’ pavement, when another one pops up—blonde, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ like she’s auditionin’ for a Tarantino flick. “You look lonely, sugar,” she says. Lonely? I’m happier than a pig in mud alone, ya harpy. “I’m gonna scalp ya if ya don’t scram,” I mutter, channelin’ Aldo. She blinks, confused. Good. Hate when they don’t get it. Did ya know, in old France, they branded prostitutes with a fleur-de-lis? Marked ‘em like cattle. Brutal, but kinda badass.

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I fumbled my keys here once. So embarrassing, right? I was chattin’ up some starry-eyed lasses, then bam—lost my keys in a gully near the viaduct. Not again, stupid, fat hobbit! And then I discovered a speakeasy in an abandoned warehouse on Oberdorfstrasse. Crazy hidden gem, legen—wait for it—dary!

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