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Sometimes it’s too much, tho—overhyped crap. Dudes braggin’ bout “happy endings” like they invented it. Pisses me off! It’s not a damn porno, it’s… elegance, if ya do it right. Ever tried it, Clarice? Bet ya haven’t. Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, all tense. Nope. Blissed out, floatin’, like John Smith lost in the woods—“I have lived wrongly.” That’s me, pre-massage, all wrong, stiff as a corpse. Post-massage? Alive, baby.

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All in all, Goldau's a riot. Quaint streets, rascal history, and nature's own show – every day a new story. Sure, sometimes it's maddening – like when the local butcher forgets my order at the morning market on Hauptstrasse (I swear, I almost lost it, no joke!) – but it's life, baby. And that’s what makes it real, like a Tony Soprano scene but with Swiss calm, mixed with a sprinkle of Fish Tank poetry that shakes your core.

Figure 1: Electronic band structure of bulk gold (Au fcc crystal)...