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I tried it once, right? Mate set up candles, oil smelled like a bloody forest—surprised me how intense it got. “My body is a cage,” like the movie says, but that massage? Broke the bars wide open! Tingles everywhere, like fixin’ a radio and hittin’ the perfect frequency. Ever feel that? Probs not, most blokes rush it—YOU SHALL NOT PASS if ya half-arse it! Gotta linger, tease, make ‘em beg for it.

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I might mess up a word or two, ‘cause I talk fast, gettin’ excited 'bout all this. Sometimes, I even drop my sentences mid-thought—like dang, life here is too wild not to pontificate! Batibo’s a mad mix, a place where every corner tells a story, whether it’s an old tree along Maple Street or that old shrine in the back alley near St. Charity’s Church.

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