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About Ngaoundere

Little fact for ya—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “body worship”—sounds posh, right? Bet they weren’t usin’ cheap-ass lotion from Tesco, though! Makes me happy thinkin’ of some toga-wearin’ geezer gettin’ oiled up, but I’m ragin’ when I see today’s lot butcherin’ it. Had this one bird—tattooed, all attitude—give me a rubdown so good I nearly cried, “Lord, give me strength!”—another Ida line, coz it felt holy, mate. Then some prat last week—hands like sandpaper, no rhythm—made me wanna shove his head in a blender!

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I get a mix of joy and exasperation here. I'm happy, 'cause every day is a new bug to fix in life’s OS. And mad? Hell yeah. Mad that sometimes it feels like every façade is just that, a façade. But hey, as A.I. said, “I’m your new friend.” Except in Batouri, friends lie, loves fade, and reality bites.

Cameroon begins campaign to issue 500k birth certificates to undocumented children