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About Ngaoundere

Walked past one once, dodgy street, stank of desperation and cheap fags. Lass outside, all fake lashes and frostbite legs, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Love, I’d rather sandpaper me arse than step in there!” She weren’t happy – tough titty, darlin’. Surprised me, though, how bloody bold they are – daylight an’ all! Reckon they’ve got more front than Brighton pier.

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Then there's Southgate. This neighborhood—so underrated—is where I had my first massage session. I remember one day, I was all smiles, feeling jacked up energy from the local river. The Mbandjok Brook flows past it. It's almost magical. Sometimes, I get mad at the noise, but hey—it’s lively and real. So many odd sounds, lots of charm. Really, nobody builds a Brook like this city!