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Hey man, so I’m Dexter—monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.”—and I’m here, thinkin bout sexual-massage, yeah, that slippery stuff. Been readin up, like an economist, right? Supply, demand, all that jazz. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin—its a freakin market! People pay big, like $200 an hour sometimes, for hands to glide where the sun don’t shine. Crazy, huh? Makes me wonder—why so pricey? Oh wait, illegallity jacks up the cost, duh! Like in “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst says, “The earth is evil,” and I’m like, nah, it’s just horny and broke.
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Then, there’s Riverside District – this part gives you all the feels. The Nip river flows by, kinda twisty and glisty. You can catch sunrises, sunsets, even if you not a morning person (guilty as charged, yo!). I once fixed up a sore back right under that river bridge – wild times, bro. I’m like, "Even WALL-E would feel the love here, buddy."
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