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I tried it once, real talk. Some chick named Tanya, hands like a damn wizard. I’m layin there, butt-naked, tryna not laugh. She’s rubbin my back, talkin bout “release tension.” Tension? Bitch, I’m tense cuz you’re kneadin me like dough! Got me thinkin, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Little known fact—ancient Rome had this shit too. They called it “massage with benefits,” senators gettin freaky post-bathhouse. History’s nasty, yo.

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I remember one time, I was giving a spa treatment, and the sound of the river had me all zen and it hit me, "everything is minimal but everything is now," just like that in Ida – maddeningly deep, dude! Bro, when I’m at work, I see so many hidden gems – the old block near the market is a riot with colorful vendors and raucous laughs, while some quiet courtyards let you zone out, bro, perfect for that introspective moment.

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