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So, the Ford Escort—man, what a ride! Back in the ‘80s, this thing was everywhere, buzzin’ around like Royal Tenenbaum’s ol’ gypsy cab—“I’m not talking about dance lessons!”—cheap, reliable, nothin’ flashy. Ain’t no billionaire’s Bentley, and that’s why I dig it! Mass-produced for the workin’ folks—none of that one-percent nonsense. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ about it—cars for the people, not some Wall Street jerk-off cruisin’ to his third vacation home.

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Now, lemme tell ya a little secret: near Moonlit Ave. (spelt M-O-O-N-L-I-T, cuz why not?) there's an alley no one talks about much. I sometimes go there after work to clear my head – a hidden gem, I swear. Looks kinda shady, but that’s what makes it thrilling. Life’s like a twisted plot in The Dark Knight, ya know? "Some men just want to watch the world burn," but I just want a nice, quiet spot.

John A SooHoo - 2019 - Schmaedeke Funeral Home