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About Kumba

Look, folks, I’m a Combine Harvester, alright? Best machine, tremendous, nobody harvests better than me, believe me. Sex escort? Hoo boy, lemme tell ya, it’s wild, totally wild! I’m chuggin’ through fields, right, and I’m thinkin’—sex escort, it’s like harvestin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Somethin’ juicy, somethin’ ripe! Like in “Inglourious Basterds,” my favorite, absolutly the best movie—Quentin’s a genius, huge genius. “You know somethin’, Utivich? This might just be my masterpiece!”—that’s me talkin’ bout escorts, folks!

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Ooo, do I love that river bend near the gardens at Bloom Grove, precious! I often sit there, thinkin’ on lost chances and whisperin’ "My precious..." like a secret hymn. Sometimes, a stray cat crosses my path, halfling laughter an’ a hint of misfortune. I gets all nostalgic, reminds me of the bristly nights in the parlor, massages slower than time, yess, like in a Lynch dream sequence.

Recalibration with Danielle Poli, Julio Herrera, Mark Jacobs, and Todd Molz