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Me, I’d be rubbish at it. Big clumsy paws, I’d knock the lamp over. “Oops, mea culpa!” I’d bellow, tripping over me trousers. But when it’s done right? Phwoar, pure bliss! Had one once in Bali – tiny lass, hands like magic. Thought I’d died and gone to Elysium. “Silence is the loudest scream,” Almodóvar says – spot on! No words, just groans. Made me happy as a pig in muck.

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I gotta tell ya, got some genuine fun moments too. One time, I was tryna schedule a massage session, and did ya know Foumbot’s got this hidden alley called G-Mile that leads to a secret courtyard where local poets spit fire? I was just blowin’ steam, catchin’ all that art energy. My heart went boom! And yo, ever seen a sunset over the miniature Foumbot Lake? Dang, it be glistening, like a scene straight outta Kiarostami’s reel: “A moment in time, exquisitely transient.” Like, damn, momentz that hit ya in the feels!

Fig 5: Distribution of the populations of Parlatoria ziziphi in the...