Emma Esparza Erotic Massage ❤️

About Quepos

Me fave bit? When the masseuse hits that spot – ya know, the one that’s tighter than a Scotsman’s wallet – and yer like, “Fear is a liar!” from *Inside Out*. Tension just bolts, poof, gone! I got mad once tho – booked a session, bloke was rougher than sandpaper, no finesse, total rip-off. Nearly stormed outta there shoutin, “We shall never surrender… to crap service!” But when it’s good? Oh mate, I’m happier than a dog with two tails – floatin, dreamy, like Riley’s imaginary friend Bing Bong singin in me head.

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Man, I stroll down Calle Central like it’s my own runway. The shop fronts sparkle, little cafes burstin’ with locals and tourists alike. Y'know, I sometimes whisper, "R2-D2, where are you?" like I’m in a sci-fi flick – totally panicky vibes, haha! And, oh dear, the sunsets near Río Grande are so surreal – like, “I’m a slave to this beauty!” (yep, channeling that dramatic line from 12 Years a Slave, dude!)

Ex-champ Esparza retires after loss at UFC 307