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About Quepos

Back in ‘17, heard tell o’ this lass in Tortuga—well, London—who met a bloke on Plenty o’ Fish. Fella sent her a pigeon—nah, text—sayin’ he’s a lord. Turns out, he’s a bleedin’ fishmonger! She shacked up anyway, ‘cause the cod was fresh. True story, mate! Little known fact: them apps got more bots than a ship’s got rats. Surprised me, it did—half me matches be talkin’ like parrots, repeatin’ “hey sexy” till I wanna keelhaul ‘em.

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So, like, picture this: narrow cobblestoned streets in Vila Esperança. Yeah, seriously – streets like Rua das Flores and Avenida das Estrelas. I remember one day, I was walkin’ down Rua das Flores when a lady cried out in relief after provin’ her own strength – BOOM! "Tango down," I thought – like in Zero Dark Thirty. Real-life boss moves, ya know?

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