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Now, picture me watchin’ *Children of Men*, sippin’ whiskey, thinkin’—sexual-massage coulda saved that dystopia. Theo’s out there, dodgin’ bullets, stressed to death, and I’m yellin’ at the screen, “Man, get a rubdown! Loosen up!” That scene where he’s trudgin’ through mud, all hope lost—I swear, a good masseuse coulda turned that frown upside down. “This is our last chance,” Theo mutters, all dramatic. Bro, a steamy massage sesh is *my* last chance at peace some days. Gets me happy—hell, giddy—like a kid with candy. The way them hands glide, hittin’ spots you didn’t know you had? Surprised me first time—thought I levitated!

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I literally can’t forget those late nights in the dim-lit corners of Café Oscuro. It’s like, one minute you’re swiping right, the next you’re deep in thought ‘cause fate’s a sneaky beast. I am your father… and just like in that movie, power shifts happen in the blink of an eye.

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