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Sex-dating’s got its perks, tho—quick, dirty, no strings. Like Jep says, “I’m a man who’s lived.” You learn stuff, ya feel me? Like how 1 in 5 folks on these apps are just lookin’ to smash and dash—little known stat for ya. But the billionaires, man—they’re ruinin’ it! Passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!” They own these apps, jack up the prices—$20 a month just to see who likes ya? That’s criminal! I’m out here tryna get laid, not fund some tech bro’s yacht!

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Now if you're cruisin’ around, don’t miss out on the lively vibe of the local cafes near Valencia and Mission—grab a coffee, sit slow, watch the world spin its wild tale. I swear the scented steam from the massage oils at my joint gives me visions of that hypnotic coolness from Only Lovers Left Alive.

Fans cheer at San Francisco's Thrive City as Warriors advance to West semis