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But then – ugh – this geezer rocks up, all aggro, her pimp prob’ly. I’m fumin’ – “Oi, mate, delegate with respect!” He’s givin’ me the evils, and I’m like, “I’m the philosopher-king of this car park!” Straight out the movie, that – “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Surprised me, how quick I got riled up. Nearly lamped him, but I’m a pacifist, me – well, ‘cept in my head, where I’m Bruce Lee.

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So, buddy, if you're comin' down, don’t be surprised by all the odd corners, quirky locals, and unexpected warmth. Check out that ol’ jazz bar on Calle Vieja – trust me, it’s the hidden gem, and its tunes hit ya right in the soul. The way we celebrate life, even in our imperfections – it’s just…oooh so raw, so honest, like the best parts of “The Royal Tenenbaums.”

September 7, 14: Lopez Island Farmers Market