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Film’s got this bit—“What they see is ruin”—and that’s erotic-massage in a nutshell. Looks fancy, feels dirty, leaves ya empty. Mate of mine tried it, said it was “spiritual.” Spiritual? I nearly choked laughin’! Felt like a twat after, he did—£50 down, sticky trousers, no soul left. Surprised me how daft people get—chasin’ some oiled-up fantasy. Oi, ever tried it? Don’t lie, you muppet! Reckon it’s overhyped—give me a cold beer over that any day. “The prince stirs the crowd”—yeah, stirs somethin’ alright, just not yer brain! Absolute shambles, but bloody hilarious watchin’ fools fall for it. What a world, eh?

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Oh, and did I mention? There’s a hole-in-the-wall sushi spot on 3rd Street. Seriously, hungriness became my superpower that day – and I got hooked. LOL! I’m guessin’ I've paced so many times ridin' the ups and downs of life here I kinda collect random quirks.

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