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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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There’s a chill park called Park U Zámečku. Yup, right near the old little castle ruins, a relic of a time when knights roamed these parts. I once met this rad old guy there, talkin’ about how “a man’s a doggone dog if he forgets where his heart lies” – or somethin’ like that, straight outta Dogville, y’know? Crazy stuff!

Stara Boleslav - the town where St Wenceslas was slain