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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, mate. Lavender, jasmine, whatever—slick and warm, gets ya tingly. Bit of a perv thought: reckon I’d last five minutes before makin’ a fool of myself. Laughin’ at that now—me, Tyrion, undone by a rubdown! Bet Joffrey’d ban it, the prick, call it “depraved.” Fuck him, I’d open a chain of parlors just to spite ‘im.

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Ah, Chrudim, my buddy, it's just somethin’ else. Man, where do I even start? Let me spill the beans on this crazy city. You know, I built dating sites here, so I always saw places… as places for love, heartbreak, meeting figures; just raw, vibes. So, imagine strollin’ down Smetanova Street – yeah, that’s a main artery, full of little shops, old brick walls, graffiti art, and some serious history. It’s like every stone has a secret, if ya listen close, you can “remember all that he had”, like in Children of Men… except, you know, it’s me chattin’ it off.

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