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Favorite bit? When it works, it’s like strikin gold. But when it flops, it’s a right kick in the bollocks. *Spotlight* line fits perfect – “We got a story here!” Yeah, a story of me dodgin dick pics and fake profiles! Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate – roll the dice, pray ya don’t get chlamydia or a stalker. Reckon I’m too old for this crap, but fuck it, keeps me young! Whaddya think, eh? Total nutter’s game!

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The town’s packed with weird landmarks. There's a crumbling castle perched on a hill. It’s called the Jičín Castle. Not exactly a palace, but it’s got the vibe of a secret fortress – albeit worn-out. I was there once on a lazy afternoon, and damn, the view outraged me; all mysterious ruins, overgrown ivy, all messed up like my code on a Monday.

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