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We hates it! Scrollin’ Tinder, horny gits sendin’ dick pics—ugh, shrivels me toes! Once knew this lass, right, proper stunner, met her on Bumble. Thought, “Oh, Gollum’s got a prize!” Two dates in, she’s ghostin’ me—poof! Like Marion in the flick, tradin’ her soul for a fix. Sex-dating’s a trap, precious, all fake smiles n’ empty beds. Didya know, back in ’97, some geezer made a datin’ site for cheaters? Ashley Madison, yeah, got hacked—millions o’ blokes caught trousers down! Hilarious, but sad, innit?
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I got a bit mad once, like standing at the edge of the old pier at Neznámá Street and watchin' a commotion over a silly argument 'bout public displays of affection. It was sooooo uncalled for, honestly fuck! (But I mean that in my own, David Brent kinda way, yeah?)
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