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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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I’ve even found this hidden little cafe, Café Chaotick, off Ulice Zapomnění – like, almost invisible but with, like, the best scones ever. I sit there and totally decompress after work. It’s like, “you know, vida loca” but, like, in a warm, fuzzy family way. Also, my soul vibes with its messy charm!

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