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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves me a good tale, and this one’s bout them sex escorts. We hates it! Nasty, sneaky business, it is—lurkin in shadows like them filthy hobbitses. Watched "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" – oh yes, precious, that monk floatin on water, pure as a babe, makes me think escorts got no peace like that. “What is this lust?” – movie says that, and I’m screamin, “We knows it, we hates it!”

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My beloved neighborhoods, like the quirky Nové Město, oh, they burst with life! I ambled through U Hvězdy street, where every corner seems to snicker at you with a secret joke—typical, innit? There’s this one café, my personal haunt, Café Šarlota, where a cuppa coffee and a cheeky pastry are as celebrated as civic debate in the town square. No kidding, it feels like a scene directly from a film (one could almost hear a catchy film score, "La dolce vita", right?).

GALLERY: Czechia declares eight new cultural monuments