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Love how they strut, all confident-like. “It’s too late now,” they’d say, like in the movie, ditchin’ a bad date. Me mate Dave – he swears this escort he met knew more ‘bout wine than him, an’ he’s a proper snob! Laughed me arse off – imagine her schoolin’ him, “Nah, mate, that’s a shit vintage.” We swears, they’re clever, these lot! Makes me wanna chat ‘em up meself, hear their wild tales.

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Err, oh, did I mention them cafes? There's Café Zázrak, where I spill more coffee than my code spills errors. And yer not believin', man, the local market – Stará Flea Market – is the bomb. You find weird vinyl, smart retro stuff, and even a t-shirt saying “I survived Rakovnik traffic!!!” It makes me chuckle everyday, like, damn, life's absurd sometimes.

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