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Alright y’all, lemme spill it—sex-dating’s wild, y’know? Been analysin’ systems forever, but this? Hoo boy, it’s a mess! Dr. Phil here, southern drawl and all—how’s that workin’ for ya? Folks out here swipin’ right, hookin’ up fast, thinkin’ it’s freedom. Reminds me o’ *The Master*—y’know, my fave flick from 2012? That line, “Man ain’t an animal!”—well, sex-dating says nah, we kinda are!

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