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About Cologne

I’m Elon, btw—tech geek, rocket nerd, meme lord. Erotic-massage? It’s biomechanical poetry! Nerves firin’, muscles decompressin’, pure engineering bliss. Ever try it? Blows your mind—like Tesla Autopilot, but for your soul. Little known fact: ancient China had this down—called it “anmo,” pressin’ points for qi flow. Freakin’ genius, right? Bet Batman’d use it after punchin’ Joker’s face.

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But oh jeez, the local neighborhoods are somethin’ else. I mean, like, Schlenderweg and Oberdorf are packed with life and vigor. People always comment on our quirky mix of modern art and ancient architecture – awsum, right? And lemme tell ya, sometimes a knotted muscle has its own story – every contortion, every twist mirrors the city’s ups and downs. Hapy times, mad times, and moments that just leave ya spinnin’.

Dozens hurt as train derails