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About Hamburg

Here’s the deal—I’m no prude, man. Had a buddy, swore it fixed his back. “Joe,” he says, “it’s therapy!” Sure, pal, and I’m 25 again. Anger pops in—those sleazy ads, “happy endin’!” Gross. But—surprise—some parlors got rules, no funny biz. Strict! Like Fear in “Inside Out”—“What if it’s a sting?!” Keeps ya honest.

Herzlich Willkommen

Then there's the river, the Glimmer, cuttin’ through the park district like a silver streak. I swear, nchoppin' here with the breeze makes me feel like I'm in that movie, "The Pianist." Y'know when they say, "The struggle is real"? Yeah, I feel that in every ripple.

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